Couples should give some thought to their plans after marriage. Do you plan to buy a new house? Rent an apartment? Or maybe live with your parents in the meantime? Due to financial difficulties, many newlyweds tend to choose the latter.
Some couples are lucky enough to have a home of their own even before the wedding. At the same time, others prefer to stay with their in-laws or parents while preparing to buy their own. Here are the disadvantages and advantages of staying with your parents after marriage.
When you live with your parents after marriage, they can help you with your expenses, which is great because that means you don’t have to pay for everything. Bills, groceries, meals, and other costs are divided to the people in the house, allowing you to save more money faster.
However, it would be better not to take advantage of this benefit. Try to give back to your parents or contribute more than they can if possible. Your parents are getting old, and the last thing they need is running out of money because they need to support their married child.
Staying with your in-laws after marriage is a great way to get close to them. At first, it’s normal to feel shy or intimidated, but spending more time with them will allow you to adjust. This is an opportunity to bond with them and show who you are as a person and what makes you deserving of their child.
Build a relationship with them. Listen to their old stories, and get to know them on a personal level. Doing so will create a special bond between you and your in-laws. When the time comes that you have to leave their house or if they opt to move to an assisted-living facility, you have already built a strong relationship with them that will only keep stronger through the years.
Couples fight. Whether you’ve been together for a year or a decade, you are bound to have disagreements. But don’t worry, quarrels are essential in healthy relationships. One of the beauties of living with parents after marriage is that parents can help you solve issues and mediate when you’re fighting.
Their presence in the house will also prevent the two of you from throwing tantrums and screaming at each other. In addition, they can provide valuable advice based on their experiences in the past. Budgeting problems? Child issues? They can help you.
Misunderstanding and Conflicts
Misunderstandings and conflicts often happen when couples live with their parents. One of the main reasons here is the considerable difference between the two generations, and each party has different opinions about particular matters. It becomes worse when the younger ones are being disrespectful as well.
But since it’s their home, it’s important to accommodate your parents or in-laws to show respect. There will be instances where you’ll feel like your parents are out-of-line. Try to talk to them about it respectfully. At this point, the most important thing to do is to communicate with them, talk with respect and listen with your heart.
Lack of Privacy
As a newlywed, you need privacy. And attaining it all day and all night is impossible when there is someone else in the house. The top reason many couples thrive on getting a home of their own right away is privacy. You’re both adults, and undoubtedly, as adults, you want to be able to do whatever you want without feeling intimidated by anyone.
We’re not just talking about showing intimacy and affection to your spouse. Simple things like staying up all night, or sleeping in on weekends, and playing loud music all need some privacy at some point. If you leave with your parents, you’ll have to limit yourself in doing these things to avoid disturbing them.
Parents always want what’s best for their kids. From the moment they start going to school till they graduate from college, build their careers, and so on. Living with your parents after marriage means that you’ll have to deal with their expectations daily.
Most of the common questions they ask are:
- When are you planning to have a child?
- What are your plans as a married couple?
- Do you intend to stay in their home long-term?
- How many kids do you want to have?
Often, these questions don’t seem bothersome. But they can be very frustrating, especially when your parents ask them almost every day.
Now that you know the pros and cons of living with parents after marriage, it’s time to decide. Overall, this is a case-to-case scenario. Some parents like it when their kids want to stay with them, and others don’t. Some spouses are okay living with their in-laws, and others aren’t. Weigh everything and understand all parties involved before deciding whether to live with your parents or not.